July 17, 2021 | Happy 40th Birthday | Hebri | Udupi | Kollur | Mookambika
July 17, 2021 | Hebri
| Udupi | Kollur | Mookambika
I type this from the very self-pampered
confines of a suite in Mahalakshmi Regency, a decently endowed hotel not 20
metres away from the ancient shrine of devi mookambika in kollur. A shrine which
in the past decade or more has become very special to me. In ways that I can
hardly describe or put into words. Let’s just say I am happy I am entering my 4th
decade on this planet at this holiest of holies.
Wont be wrong to say that the
goddess continues to inspire and guide in me in many ways. It’s a different
matter that most of the times I might not have heeded her signals or directions,
mostly due to my own inabilities or pure stupidity of nature. Well, here I am
in Kollur, having freshly arrived from Udupi, another special place – the Krishna
temple there is another fount of inspiration and guidance since long. Another
reason the Udupi temple is dear to me is because of a institution called Mitra
Samaj. This is a tiny restaurant on the temple premises which among other
things, claims to have invented the not so humble masala dosa, and to be the
fount of the famous Udupi cuisine. And if you have had the food there, you will
have good reason to believe these claims. The food at any time of the say is divinely
fresh and delicious beyond words. I might sound biased but of course I am. Some
years back, there used to be one gent on the staff who I think was the oldest
serving waiter I have seen anywhere in my humble travels. This gentleman was
tiny, bent almost double in his starched uniform, and was courteous with an
old-world charm that I still remember him after almost a decade. He wasn’t there
today or even the last time I was at Mitra Samaj. I guess time and age will
have their way after all.
I arrived in Udupi after few days
of the most socialising I have done in the past five years. It was the sachin
and nisha’s marriage in hebri and I was I guess, sachin’s best man at the event.
Good times. Happy families. Happy couple. A much-needed union of two lonesome
hearts that just had to come together eventually I would say. The wedding got
over, people checked out, and a day later I escaped to Udupi, quick darshans of
the Krishna and shiva temples happened, and then a two hour long trip down the
gorgeous Uttar Kannada coastline and the backwaters and then up the forested
hills to Kollur. One feels blessed to have one’s senses devour the sheer beauty
and lushness that this part of the country has to offer. This is the season of
rains, and this part of western India is currently receiving a lot of it. And
the countryside is simply glowing in all shades of green. The waterways and the
lakes are full, almost bursting their seams. Nature seems joyful and the humans,
well they shelter under their umbrellas and under the bus stop shelters, waiting
to get home to a nice hot tumbler of kophi or cha, as they call it here.
So what do I look forward to
now?
Companionship, for one.
Can’t be the same person I was a few years ago, or even last year. Can’t treat
those who trust me with their heart and soul as how I used to earlier. Karma bites,
sure it does. As is usually the case, I compile a list of criteria for the kind
of companion I would like to be blessed with.
As the years fall by, one
realises the need for someone to be with, to share and lean on, to love and be
loved, more than ever before. I just hope this desire or shall we say yearning,
doesn’t manifest itself in unfortunate ways. And doesn’t lead to souring of
relationships that are meant to be platonic. Short term passion projects are something
I should ideally avoid, seeing that it hasn’t done much for me in all these
years after appu jumped ship. Runanubandha is a true fact. And for those more
sensitive among us, the memories of relationships and physical intimacies do persist,
and layer up inside us in ways that we wish they didn’t. Not a good place to be
if you are someone who craves companionship of a physical and emotional nature,
and all you get in return are memories and throwbacks. Not all of them pleasant.
Secondly, what I need now is a serious
career plan that will enable me to jump ship from where I work currently. Well,
the money is good for not doing much, and most will recommend I stay there and
rake in the monthly salary as long as I can. But there is a time limit for
everything. Need to focus more on my canvases, and soon. And reach a position where
I don’t have to work for anyone anymore. To be very honest, when I see artists
much younger than me who have a better grasp of the economics and the marketing
fundas, and are god bless them, doing so well already, well it does make me
think long and hard about where I stand.
And of course, driving. I guess
it was during my MCA days in Coimbatore, when me and mum used to stay in Sulur,
that I joined my first driving school. Or was it before that? Well fast forward
two decades later, I am still where I was in 2000. Well, this needs to be taken
care of this year. Phew! Let’s do something for the parents shall we? Some
memories of happiness from their only child. Not that the child has given them
much to be happy and proud about. So till they are on this planet, the idea is
to give them something to be happy about. So if driving and taking them around
is part of that, then so be it. Well, nothing will give them more happiness
than seeing me married and having a kid or more. Can’t blame them of course. But
I seriously doubt this happening now. Having a kid at age, say 45 – is it
really worth it.
Having said that, it would be
great to have someone around to talk to. The kind of person who I don’t feel
like throwing out of my house after the first day. Which I in a way have, many,
many times ☹ somebody who doesn’t
mind roughing it out on the travels. And who has a serious leaning towards the
arts, dances, religion and spirituality and nature. And please do like dogs and
the rains will you. But am I there yet? Am I ready for a relationship, or
shudder shudder… a long term commitment.
Entering the fortieth year of
my existence now feels like a landmark event. Even if I didn’t want to, I can’t
help but look back on the past few years and the experiences and events and
people that have shaped me. Hope the next few years are more peaceful, to say
the least.
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