July 17 2022 | Another Birthday

Back when I had started this blog, way back in 2008 I think - this was meant to be a platform where I talk about my art and the process and the thoughts around it.

And see what it has become now.

Such are the ways of the mind and the heart I say. A journal of pain and longing is what it has evolved into over the years. More so around the onset of my birth date each year - which brings with it its own load of What If's and Why Not's accumulated over the years past. 

I sit right now in the same house where I used to live before the marriage, there is a canvas right beside me and a glass I flicked from a tea shop - which now houses a generous portion of Greater Than gin and some filtered water. 

As with every year, there are the guilt trips and the resolutions which I have failed to resolute. Thoughts and memories from the distant and not so distant past which come gushing and trying to find space in the murky recesses of my mind. And of course, my oldest friend the loneliness of it all - of an existence that refuses to give space for companionship when that is what it craves the most.

41st birthday I believe. Let's see where this goes from here. 

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