Sep 14 - Here we go again

 The purpose of this blog, when it was birthed all those years ago, was to be a record of my art practice and the process and the thoughts behind it. And as of today, it has become, sadly I might add, a epitaph of unfulfilled ambitions and unresolved desires, and a resting place for a whole lot of 'what-if's'. 

Tonight is one of those times when my thoughts turn to the question if this is all that is to my existence. Or is there something worthwhile or at anything that I can look forward to. As of now, every day is just another rolled up meals packet of work to be completed, deadlines to be reached, invoices and payments, and mostly just hurtling from one job to another, grateful though i am for this, but i seem to be side stepping the big picture. The pressing need to find a house, one that can become a haven for my art and a place where my brain can soar freely. So much criteria for a dwelling, and the budget constraints. Tension is there, but one perseveres. 

Every now and then, the ghosts of karma past come visiting. It doesn't take much now for them to come out of their little dark corners - sometimes,  actually most of the times, all it takes is a glimpse of a young child with its parent walking down the road in front of me, other days its the sound of a toddler going through growing up pains, from the house below me. The visuals of what could have been a life, the sounds of what could have been mine, and mine to watch growing up, the doors open a trickle and the floodgates open. As they do more easily each day now.